I'll keep walking past as if in a daze, a skill in which I've learned from them.
Amazing how we can learn from our children.
This blog is full of things a little less sweet than sugar. Not as G rated as my other blogs. Hopefully, I won't have to post here much. As always, remember that these could actually be the words and pictures of that mean old woman down the road that sometimes takes over me keyboard. Also keep in mind, she can be a horrible liar. :-D
Dear Stupid-Assed Water Department,
I received your letter today asking for me to complete your survey out of the goodness of my overcharged heart. I also received your letter last week informing me that my rates are going up on my already high priced water bill. It appears that conserving water is useless as the rate will go up to make up for lack of consumption.
I almost actually filled out your survey. But wait, was there a RETURN POSTAGE PAID ENVELOPE? Oh hell no. You expect me to not only TRACK DOWN an envelope and address it, but PAY for postage too. So then , I figured I’d go ahead and visit your online form. Oh wait, there is no ONLINE FORM. You wanted me to scan (assuming I had a scanner), open up my webmail or email client, and send you an email after typing in, BY HAND no less, your unclear email address that would be by no means in my address book. After paying your high, GREEDY bill, most people can’t even afford internet access, much less would they be willing to donate their time and precious energy to your NOSEY survey. Of course, there was the third option besides PAYING to send your survey snail mail, or finding a SCANNER and internet ACCESS to email your dumb survey, and that was to FAX it to you. Ok, so I get in my car after paying for GAS, to search for a place that FAXES crap and PAY them to fax you your shit. Gee let me think about this………RIP! Your insulting survey is in the trash–which by the way–you haven’t been picking up properly.
You know what Zip code you sent this crap to and you know exactly what we can afford here. My neighbor’s aren’t going to assist your rich asses either by the way—I’ve seen to that too.
Dear Mr single military man,
That was such a nice letter you sent. First thing I did was check out your profile. I wasn’t sure what your screen name meant or if it was just a personal meaning. It looked decent enough and your pic was handsome. I sent a "wink" back as rare as that is for me. It said you were christian and didn’t like "dominant women". Seemed fair enough although I wondered if that mean you yourself were a control freak. I didn’t want to look too far into things. I noticed a woman way in the back ground in one of your pics. Seems, surely, there was enough open space to get your pic taken without so much background. But, hey, you’re cute.
So cute I decided to try to add you to one of my messenger lists. Couldn’t find that same screen name–hmmm. Did a search on answers.com=nothing. Broke the screen name up. I then caught on to the two meanings =still kind of neat. Everything means something. So I tried the sn one last time under yahoo search………It kept coming up under adult sex and swingers site–but yet I didn’t find you under your own, or someone elses profile. I hit cache……..more results. Ok, there you are……..You and your WIFE. Seems you are both looking to do the humpety hump with whomever. Fun loving Swingers? Maybe that explained that little submissive image way in the back of your pic? Or is she the reason you don’t like dominant women(you already have one)? You probably should have changed your screen name over the years or at least between sites.
It makes me wonder what would have happened if we had met. Would I have had to develop some form of relationship with you before I got hit with her? Or would I show up somewheres to be greeted by you both? Maybe you could always say, "hey she was sort of in the pic." That would justify your deceit. Maybe you were actually cheating on her while she did her dog like stuff with other people. I wonder how that works? I know it’s a wonderfull start for AIDS.
Look, all I’m saying is, go ahead, it’s ok to be a perv, but save it for other pervs. Don’t be a lying perv. Leave normal folks out of your strange lifestyles. Try Honesty. Why did you even waste your time writing to an actual single person? If I was into that animalistic ass sniffing stuff you and your wife are into, I would be on that other site along with you. I know, you weren’t counting on someone actually using a search engine to find out what all you were into, but the internet works for all of us. Not just for you screwanyoldthingasssniffingmuttfuckinghivspreadinglyingpervs. Good luck finding the conkybine of your dreams and Thanx for wasting my time. It was fun.
An honest single woman