Dear Stupid-Assed Water Department,
I received your letter today asking for me to complete your survey out of the goodness of my overcharged heart. I also received your letter last week informing me that my rates are going up on my already high priced water bill. It appears that conserving water is useless as the rate will go up to make up for lack of consumption.
I almost actually filled out your survey. But wait, was there a RETURN POSTAGE PAID ENVELOPE? Oh hell no. You expect me to not only TRACK DOWN an envelope and address it, but PAY for postage too. So then , I figured I’d go ahead and visit your online form. Oh wait, there is no ONLINE FORM. You wanted me to scan (assuming I had a scanner), open up my webmail or email client, and send you an email after typing in, BY HAND no less, your unclear email address that would be by no means in my address book. After paying your high, GREEDY bill, most people can’t even afford internet access, much less would they be willing to donate their time and precious energy to your NOSEY survey. Of course, there was the third option besides PAYING to send your survey snail mail, or finding a SCANNER and internet ACCESS to email your dumb survey, and that was to FAX it to you. Ok, so I get in my car after paying for GAS, to search for a place that FAXES crap and PAY them to fax you your shit. Gee let me think about this………RIP! Your insulting survey is in the trash–which by the way–you haven’t been picking up properly.
You know what Zip code you sent this crap to and you know exactly what we can afford here. My neighbor’s aren’t going to assist your rich asses either by the way—I’ve seen to that too.
Be glad we didn’t hand deliver your survey!